No matter what approach we take with bedtime (even if you want to, ahem, teach your child learned helplessness with the “cry it out” approach : ) …… the time leading up to it, can be nurturing. Ah yes the humanistic approach: “You don’t really have a choice, but we’ll tell you that in a kind, yet subtly dismissing tone, so that you don’t know what hit you.”
Back to the Sleep Frame and the Waldorf tradition. Consistently do the exact same “activities” in a row before bed (the actual time of bed is secondary to the importance of the rhythm).
The pattern allows the child to receive unspoken cues that bedtime is on its way. In time, the body associates the rhythm with “slowing down” and resting. As well, the rhythm itself is nurturing and gives the child a sense of security of expecting the “slowing down” and knowing what is next.
The sleep frame can be used to soften “sleep manipulation” and to create nurturing time with our children before they FREESLEEP? Did I just coin a new term?
Will you join me in freeing our children from the “shackles” of “sleep manipulation”?
Tell me about your evening rhythm or “Sleep Frame” or lack of it (please tell me I’m not the only one!) and the quality it brings to your evening and relationship to your children?
Keep me accountable and inspire me, K? Seriously if I can dig myself out of the “sleep hole dramas” that I have created in my life, anyone can!



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April 11, 2010 at 11:25
Laurelle Kanji
Hi Sherry,
Thanx for posting about this. I had know idea going into motherhood that sleep would be the hardest thing for us. Seriously… she’s the happiest most content baby ever until it’s time for sleep… or so it seemed. In the short span of almost 10 months we have dabbled in all approaches to her sleep & not one of them really works… but combined we may have just had a breakthrough. she has gone to sleep on her own with only 5 min. or less of fussing & woke only once or twice during the night the last 3 nights in a row (knock on wood). here’s what I’ve found:
1) she will let me know when she needs to sleep
2) It’s not really “sleep manipulation” if she’s actually really tired & done for the day
3) the bedtime routine is indeed crucial… no matter how tired she is she will fall off to sleep easier when we stick to it… no skipping.
4) the bedtime routine is our best family time & we need it as much as she does
5) she will not go to bed before the sun sets… this girl is in tune with the sun
6) every child is different & no one can say what will work for them
love you,
Laurelle