Taking the Frenzy Out of Homemaking-Part 2

So how do we make sense of creating rhythms at home, ones that serve both mother and child, even in a context that seems almost impossible?

When we consider the context of modern life, we woman live at a time when moms often live secluded lives, even when they are city dwellers! And they spend all day, day in, day out, with the same people, namely their children who often demand their total presence. Partners are at work, grandmas and aunties are living their own lives. Gone are the days of the maid, the butler and the wet nurse at a woman’s side. So if it took all these people, essentially a village to raise a child and a tribe to do the day to day chores, hunting and cooking, how is it that we got to this place of expecting one women to be able to do it all this work on her own, while meeting the needs of today’s children?

We could throw our hands up and say that it isn’t healthy and it isn’t humanly possible and that’s why we feel we fall short (this is why it is a frenzy!) or we could view the frenzy in our homes as the catalyst for evolution; a big bang so to speak! The contrast that leads us into the desire for a new way to live. One that can transform the way we do it!

While it is a lot to chew, it is my intention that this blog become a forum so that we can co-create a new context for homemaking in the new earth with children.

If we cannot or choose not to move into an intentional community or we don’t have extended family to share the raising of our children, then how can we use this challenge to creatively come up with a way of life that works and does not cut corners of the essentials of a meaningful life for ourselves and our children (whatever that means to us each individually)?

So while cultivating order and rhythms could be part of transforming the frenzy of homemaking with children in tow, it could also be taken as another expectation of ourselves or yet another high ideal to live up to. Yet I propose that if we make it a practice to keep coming back to, in the long haul, it will actually bring us more satisfaction, freedom and spontaneity; those things we so long for when “housebound”. It also gives us a life to look forward to “living into”. For mother, it gives us a sense of purpose and accomplishment, and for the child, security. He/she knows what to expect and what is expected. With our awareness of why children act needy or demanding allows us to have greater compassion for them with the understanding that children tend to get into the driver seat and lead if parents do not. Mother’s will rightfully exclaim, “This child is driving me crazy”! Instead of feeling helpless in the face of our childrens distressful behavior, we can recognize that our children are “crying” for direction. Their discontent and ours continually brings us back to the question, “am I fulfilling on my intentions in a rhythmic way that my child can rely on and I am I feeling more grounded, centered and dynamic in my life as a householder? That is the practice.